I vant to succkk your blooooddddd
I’m seriously making the most grossed-out face of all time.
Vampires are all the rage right now, and no, it’s not 1994 and I’m not reviewing Interview with a Vampire although it would go something like this (in 1994 twelve year old Taylor speak) “oh wow, I was like, totally scared, and the vampires are so cute and still like, totally scary. Remember when the blonde one eats the rats? Gross! But Christian Slater is in it, he was in Untamed Heart and Ferngully, remember? Yeah he’s super cute too… and you know the end where Tom Cruise (hot!) is still alive? I think you’re supposed to be scared or something… but you know what? I wasn’t! I wasn’t scared at all, I really thought it was a cool ending!”
Anyway… all of a sudden they’re back en force… There’s that new show “Twilight” that’s apparently made after some books (like GG and SATC and every other crossover book/ TV deal you can imagine). I’m sure it’s fine, not “Buffy” fine, but fine… I was almost to the point of ignoring the vampires when yesterday I happened across ads for “Tru Blood” a blood drink… the slogan? “Friends don’t let friends drink friends.”
Ok, that’s annoying.
In a teeny corner of the ad there’s an HBO sign only slightly alluding to the fact that they’re kidding… so I obviously had to go to the stupid website and check it out. To get in you have to put the date and the CENTURY that you were “bitten,” already I’m thinking it’s a little too weird… inside the site you can find descriptions of the different blood types O , A, B and AB… there’s even a quiz to decide which type is best for you “How often do you get the urge to bite?” etc. I’m the first to admit that, even though I’m here to make fun… the ad campaign is actually working since I’ve been on the website for the past 20 minutes, and grossed-out grimace or not, I’m still on it and whoever monitors it knows it…
And they almost had me, almost… I’m starting to think of things like “annoying, yet strangely interesting… I understand the appeal” until I enter the page innocently labeled “shop” and you know what I find amidst sweatshirts and coffee mugs??
Ladies boy briefs!! And they’re sold out!! SOLD OUT! This means more than what, 10 people have purchased these!! Call me old fashioned but I don’t want anything with the word “blood” on it any where near my undies.
I’m officially back to being annoyed.
