Top ten reasons WHY you should let your dog sleep in your bed:
1) You can set your thermostat to a cooool 63 degrees: stick a pillow case over the back end of your pup (only if you own a maltese) and POOF! magic! you’ve got a make-shift heating blanket at next to nothing of cost. There is a reason why they call it “the sak” ya know..
2) To relinquish guilt: If a dog is sleeping in your bed, the chances of it passing gas are greater than one would care to fathom. Thus, if you by-accidentally let one fly and don’t want your significant other to be nauseated by the baking in the oven, blame it on the dog’s in-proper manners.
3) Less vacuuming: hair falls out, it’s science. You hate pulling out that 1970′s, 40-pd, geriatric dust-sucker whose cord could span the length of the brooklyn bridge? Give your carpet a rest for the night and invite fido up to bed.
4) Become an excellent Spooner: I’m already reputable at this, but I can bet you’d fancy being better. Tip: You need to be the spoon-er, let him being the spoon-ee.
5) Less hairballs: Odds are that your cat likes sleeping on your face. So when you let your dog up to bed, kitty kitty will succumb to the larger species and hit up their lush (yet for some reason still brand-new and untouched) velvet cat bed near the bay window instead.
6) A warm body: For those nights when you just can’t stand to be alone any longer, miss that companionship of a loved one, feel so incredibly sorry for yourself for having a desolate and celibate bed, look downward upon those big brown eyes and…welcome him to your berth for a little luvin’.
7) An allied chorus: Studies have shown that partners who spend inordinate amounts of time together will assimilate their bodily functions such as menstrual cycles (eeew) and yawning. Here you can both snore together, in a harmonious manner whilst making music in slumberland.
8 ) It will make their day: It’s like Christmas for you. But for a dog, more like the last supper. Lamb-chops with beef stew, veal and raw chicken legs- your dog wants to sleep with you almost as much as it would want to devour the comestibles listed.
9) Undeniable Cuteness: your dog is cute, so why not reward cuteness? Don’t act like you don’t speak baby/doggie talk, embrace that fact that sometimes you want to squeeze the life out of them. (hypothetically speaking).
10) Because you can: It’s your dog, or your friends dog, or your sister’s-cousin’s-rabbi’s -barber’s dog. Whatever the case, it’s your decision and you can tell Cezar Millan to go put a cork in it (PG-13 style), you are the “alpha” and when being alpha you make the orders, and the orders are hot-dog (not pig… get it?) in a blanket- YOUR blankets.
I’m all about the pup bed warmer. I’m a pretty good spooner too, at least Pixel seems to think so… Bill does too.
I’m all about the pup bed warmer. I’m a pretty good spooner too, at least Pixel seems to think so… Bill does too.
i recommend exercising #4/#6 with caution. you don’t want to mistake man’s best friend for man’s girlfriend/fiance/wife on those hazy mornings…it’s bad news all around when that happens. which it has, at least once that i know of.
i recommend exercising #4/#6 with caution. you don’t want to mistake man’s best friend for man’s girlfriend/fiance/wife on those hazy mornings…it’s bad news all around when that happens. which it has, at least once that i know of.
#2…all last night.
#2…all last night.
man I wonder how long it would take me to die with a dog in my bed… like an hour? I have the worst allergies of all time… I’m trying to convince Juan to buy me a fish…
man I wonder how long it would take me to die with a dog in my bed… like an hour? I have the worst allergies of all time… I’m trying to convince Juan to buy me a fish…
Great Post. I was so laughing in my hotel room. Hawkes, remind Juan how much he loved JayHack. And don’t sleep with your fish, it will die.
Great Post. I was so laughing in my hotel room. Hawkes, remind Juan how much he loved JayHack. And don’t sleep with your fish, it will die.
It’s totally Japanese Fighter Fish weekend at our house.
It’s totally Japanese Fighter Fish weekend at our house.
Awesome! Great article – you forgot about the free back scratching! Those dogs are always dreaming about running in the night…..
Awesome! Great article – you forgot about the free back scratching! Those dogs are always dreaming about running in the night…..
Sold! Sign me up for a snuggle buddie. I strongly suggest adding this to WebMD as a cure for restless leg syndrome and bowel dysfunction.
Sold! Sign me up for a snuggle buddie. I strongly suggest adding this to WebMD as a cure for restless leg syndrome and bowel dysfunction.
Zoe and Franny are now your biggest fans! However Franny finds it necessary to sleep on our heads. Kinda makes it hard to breathe.
Zoe and Franny are now your biggest fans! However Franny finds it necessary to sleep on our heads. Kinda makes it hard to breathe.
I want that puppy, he’s like a furry midget buddha. Cute post!
I want that puppy, he’s like a furry midget buddha. Cute post!
#1 for me! I like to call him my sleeping bag and my down comforter. Oops! And #?
#1 for me! I like to call him my sleeping bag and my down comforter. Oops! And #?
I ate dog for the first time the other day. It is like a cross between chicken and pork.
I ate dog for the first time the other day. It is like a cross between chicken and pork.
I wish I passed out so satisfied looking. I guess I would have to get up late, get fed, run around, sniff myself to be able to do it.
I wish I passed out so satisfied looking. I guess I would have to get up late, get fed, run around, sniff myself to be able to do it.