Friday Round Up is NOT Pregnant!!

There are worse things I could do, Than go with a boy or two. Even though the neighborhood thinks I'm trashy, And no good, I suppose it could be true, But there are worse things I could do.

Happy 50th anniversary the pill! Every news source this side of the Mississippi is talking about anniversary, controversial still, after all these years!

1. I have very very vivid memory of watching Coal Miner’s Daughter at my Grandma’s house with her and my mama. (Luckily, that was before I saw Carrie when I was still able to be in a room with a Sissy Spacek movie on without cowering in fear.) Loretta Lynn came from the middle of nowhere America, got married at 13, had a grandchild by the time she was 29 (I underlined that, most of the 29 years olds I know can’t imagine having a regular child, let alone a grand one!) So clearly there was a lot of baby-makin’ going on. When the pill came out Loretta wrote a lovely little number to express her joy:

All these years I’ve stayed at home while you had all your fun
And every year that’s gone by another baby’s come
There’s gonna be some changes made right here on Nursery Hill
You’ve set this chicken your last time ’cause now I’ve got the pill

This old maternity dress I’ve got is going in the garbage
The clothes I’m wearing from now on won’t take up so much yardage
Miniskirts hotpants and a few little fancy frills
Yeah I’m making up for all those years since I’ve got the pill

In all seriousness, how liberating is that?

2. Speaking of baby making, here’s a ridiculously uncomfortable/creepy/sexually confusing video of Tomkat the whole video isn’t online anymore so here’s a news clip (and really, it’s for the best that you don’t see the whole thing)

3. The new Smurfs movie is going to be live-action (well, at least parts of it, I have no idea how you make a smurf, so I’m assuming CGI? I don’t make movies, this is why) HERE are some pictures of Hank “I never wear shoes because they make me fall down” Azaria as Gargamel! He’s trying to look menacing but just coming off as adorable!

4. I am trying to talk about cheating stars at a minimum BUT it’s been reported that David Boreanaz cheated on his wife with Rachel Uchitel the SAME girl that started the whole Tiger thing! Now listen, I know I got called out for calling a tramp a tramp last week and I admit that that wasn’t fair. Fame does things to people where apparently your morals are checked at the door, that’s fine. This girl needs some SERIOUS mental counseling, and I’m saying that honestly. On September 11, 2001 she lost her fiance and a picture of her (looking much younger and innocenter) sobbing outside ground zero made it’s media rounds. I cannot begin to imagine and will not pretend to even sort of understand how horrendous that must have been. Seems to me the girl needs more love and less sex, that’s all.

5. Should I feel bad for thinking this video is awesome?

Because I don’t.

6. The trailer for the upcoming thriller Piranha 3D is terrifying! Like, for real and on so many levels.

Did you see that? There are SO MANY famous people in this movie! Christopher Lloyd, Adam Scott, Elizabeth “I’m a nurse now” Shue, Ving Rhames, Jessica Szhor, Jerry O’Connell! woah.

7. This week whoever is in charge of Hollywood stars (seriously, who is that? Like the supreme czar of Hollywood? no idea) spelled Julia Louis-Dreyfus wrong and a CNN reporter was the first to notice!

8. Congratulations Chas Bono on your official legal gender change!

9. Is it cheating if I make you guys re-read by Britney Telephone post? It’s funny! Read it!

10. Now for the feel-good story of your lifetime. 13 year old Erik Martin of Seattle has cancer. Make-A-Wish asked him what he wanted and all he wanted was to be a superhero for a day. A gift like this took TONS of coordination.

Erik got into his red-and-blue superhero costume, and called on the powers of Moonshine Maid, who owns a DeLorean sports car. For good measure, more than 20 motorcycle officers from the Bellevue Police Department and King County and Snohomish sheriff’s offices escorted Electron Boy to Seattle.

“They shut down 405 — they shut down I-90,” marveled Moonshine Maid, aka Misty Peterson. “I thought it would just be me, in the car.”

At Qwest Field, Electron Boy was directed by frantic fans to the Sounders locker room, where the entire team was shouting for help behind jammed doors. With a little help from Lightning Lad, the alter ego of local actor Rob Burgess, Erik opened the door with his lightning rod. The Sounders cheered.

Hello, a DELORIAN. You must click through THIS slide show! So super (teehee) awesome!

ps. Time’s Square just got evacuated. For good measure, I love you all.