Fourth of July Friday Round Up!

Gooooood morning USA!! Happy Almost Birthday To youuuuuuuuuuu… Whenever I think of the 4th of July and I try to calculate how old Mother America is I think about the last big birthday, the bicentennial in 1976, and then that episode of Friends when Monica is dating that guy who’s in college and then they have sex. He’s like, I have something to tell you, she was like ok you’re not a senior. He’s like yeah I’m a senior… In high school!! And she jumps out of bed and yells “I JUST HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE WHO WASN’T EVEN ALIVE DURING THE BICENTENNIAL!!” and he goes “I just had sex!!” hahaha Happy Birthday America, that’s where my mind goes.

1. I took this picture in my ‘hood the other day during the annual “apparently we have no idea when the 4th of July is so we always set off fireworks on a Wednesday and hope to someday get it right!” festival. I’m considering quitting my job and becoming a professional blackberry photographer… thoughts?

2. My coworker who is having her second baby sent me this website that promotes safe sex and abstinence.

Yep, it’s called shit my kids ruined and fair warning there’s a lot of bodily fluids, but also a surprisingly high amount of paint, why you’d leave paint near a 3 year old is beyond me (after typing this my future children are laughing hysterically and plotting, I know it, jerks).

3. We’ve all seen that super informative youtube video about the internet and how many people there are in China, here’s one about the drug war, some scary stuff indeed:

4. I’ve sort of stopped watching awards shows except the GG’s and the Oscars. The MTV Movie or Music awards were a few weeks back and I just had ZERO desire to watch them. Luckily literally EVERYONE I follow on twitter still loves them, and the BET Awards this year were no exception. In the past I’ve stated my feelings on Chris Brown, I do not think that it’s ok at all to hit/strangle/punch a woman. Ever. There are plenty of dudes out there who can sing who DON’T hit girls, so I’d prefer to give them a chance and forget the Chris Brown ever existed. Anywayyy he gave a sickening performance filled with Crocodile tears like you wouldn’t believe, crying during “Man in the Mirror,” literally lame to new levels of lame. So the blogs lit up of people critiquing his “performance.” It’s a rough topic but I think Best Week Ever handled it the best. Top Ten best pics of Chris Brown crying during the World Cup:

5. Ok, now onto something lighter! Have you seen Silly Bandz? All the kids have them, they’re plastic bracelets in the shape of animals but they stretch out into bracelet shape… basically, they’re awesome. I actually thought about pop-tenning about them and then thought that you guys might think I’m lame. Guess who scooped me? Oh, just the NY Times.

It’s a natural progression for the product,” said Robert Croak, the president of BCP Imports, the company in Toledo, Ohio, that makes Silly Bandz. “When we developed them, we always thought they’d be a great fashion accessory for all ages. Kids just took to them first.

I was going to buy some at Walgreens the other day and didn’t! So since I’m too scared to be an individual and need approval from my peers to do anything… I’m totally buying them now! Hit me up, we’ll do some trading.

6. Ok nerds, take a seat, this is going to change your life:

hahahahhahah right? My favorite video ever, make sure you make it all the way to the end.

7. I was at a BBQ on Saturday that didn’t get started until the game was over. So we’re all sitting in the game room glued to the tv while trays of snacks went untouched. The game went into over time, there was yelling, there was screaming… and then. Nothing. It was like the World Cup never happened. It’s not on TV anymore, I forgot the names of the players, is it still going on? No idea. See you in 2014.

8. Just kidding! I’m going Germany FTW people!!

9. Gawker had this video up yesterday… quite therapeutic to watch if you’re mad at someone:

10. JCPE and I saw Knight & Day in the theater last weekend, as promised. I’m not much for reviewing movies AFTER I’ve seen them, but I think as a summer blockbuster movie goes, you should give this one a chance! Has to be more stimulating then Eclipse, right?

11. Wait, one more thing! It’s pretty cool that the last Harry Potter is in two parts. I didn’t read the last book (but I ready the epilogue so I know what happens) but I think this is going to be very exciting!

I think so.

Save and Happy Happy Weekend!!