Friday Round Up!
I’m back!! Well I’ve been back. I’m blessed with this amazing ability to go on vacation and be completely relaxed and then someone how manage to freaaaaaaaaak out 20 seconds before returning home and consequently make myself sick for the next few days. It’s awesome.
Anyway now I’m back, so, yay!
1. Before I went to Las Vegas to visit my family they came to visit me! The first thing mom told me was that landing at LGA is terrifying! This morning Gothamist confirmed it and mom had this to say:
Hi Sugar,
This is soooooo scary. I knew it. It was creepy when we were landing.
I love you. How are you doing?
2. Upon returning from an event where everyone was tweeting do you have the incessant desire to type everything in tweet sleep [note: I obviously meant to write "speak"... guess who's tired!]?
ie: Before I went to #LasVegas to visit mom came to visit me! The first thing she told me was that landing at #LGA is terrifying! #nyc #delta
I want to # things all the time. #twitterfail #imsorry #itreallyissuperfunforthoseofyounotontwitter
3. You know what’s on fire? Russia. In a very un-funny way, today temperatures are over 103, but also with ACTUAL FIRE. This video is one of the more terrifying things I’ve ever seen.
4. Speaking of real-life terrifying things Discovery has the Top Ten Shark Attack Videos available online.
5. Speaking of sharks why are all the images associated with Shark Week more uncomfortable than scary:
ie: Shark yourself
and this dude:
I hate that guy.
6. I’m in the middle of a very self-hating “what the hell have I been doing with my life why don’t I love my job” mood these days. Luckily Paul Rudd can help me out:
Paul Rudd: Bat Mitzvah DJ from Jewish Forward on Vimeo.
7. I freaking hate limbo. It’s dumb and it’s embarrassing if you can’t do it!
8. Tina Fey isn’t half bad either:
Mutual Savings Bank – “Hi!” – Featuring Tina Fey from The Purple Onion Archives on Vimeo.
9. Last weekend I had a JLoveHew Hooker party where I invited my favorite girls over to watch the newest Lifetime movie “The Client List.” I was going to take a minute to review the film, but The Fug Girls beat me to it and it’s brilliant: Fug the Fromage: The Client List (picture from them)
I will add one thing that I thought was interesting. The girls I watched the movie with were MAD that the husband was MAD at JLoveHew for being a hooker… I didn’t even interject I was so fascinated! General audience reaction was “hey, you couldn’t get a job to support your family, she stepped up, stop being a pussy!!” I would have to argue ladies, that were I in his shoes I would totally totally divorce the shit out of her. For Sexual Health reasons if none other. [spoiler: there are drugs involved]
But she keeps doing it. Sixth lesson of the movie: Kind Touching And Being Rich Is Totally Worth It. Alas, Kind Touching while on coke means JLH is irritable and a bit rushed — so, not kind, as much as it is curt and perfunctory. And it’s not the Curt, Perfunctory Touch Health Spa, is it? Moreover, she snaps at her children. In one scene, her child goes, “Mommy are you getting more coke?” And JLH snaps, “WHAAAAAAAAT??!?!??!” but of course the child meant Coke, and JLH is like, “OMG,” and we’re all going, OH SNAP, and then later JLH shouts at her daughter when her daughter doesn’t want to pee in a cup at the doctor — no, REALLY — and that’s when JLH realizes she would rather Kind Touch than be a mother. Or it’s when she realizes she’s going insane. Because we’ve already established she’s kind of a self-involved asshat, it’s tough to read her signals sometimes.
10. AND FINALLY! Please sign this petition to help Dave from Cyanide & Happiness get a visa to come to America. CLICK HERE.
Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net
They ask for a personal story, and I actually have one. My 22 year old brother and I were at The Rio in Las Vegas eating surf n’ turf and mac and cheese and we were talking about what we do at work. I said innocently… well I read Explosim Comics! He took out his phone showed me the Explosim App and said ME TOO!!! Nothing brings a family together than stick figures being inappropriate.
huzzah friday!
