May 2007 was the first time since I started making mixes in January 2004 that the core set of songs did not fit on a single CD. It was also the first time I started adding in comments before the track listing, so from here on out, if you’re lucky, you may get old school musings here as well.

Comments from 2007:
here is may, coming to you one full day early. you will notice it is over my usual max of fitting on a cd by 7:19.  but as i was reminded of over the weekend, a playlist doesnt have to fit on a cd to be a mix.  so i’ve decided to be okay with it long.  also, if you dont already own it, you should think about buying the whole andrew bird album.  it is awesome.  in the actual definition of awesome kind of awesome.

Comments from 2012:
-We listened to that Adam Ant song for hours on end at sleepover camp, though I have no idea for the life of me why it was significant 12 years after that.
-I really like this Jonatha Brooke song, it was originally the first song on the mix.
-Lily Allen was the last one. A mix bookmarked by two great females, when so much of what I listened to back then was male vocal-led bands. Also, I love that the song Alfie is totally an upbeat happy fun song about being a stoner. It reminds me of music that should be played on a country fair carousel.
-The Paolo Conte song was in a Coke commercial. It was a pretty awesome one actually. Watch it here.
-I know my old comments said to go buy Andrew Bird’s album, and I stand by that, but he is featured plenty over the next few months, so check for my favorite song next month.

Track Listing:
Adam Ant – Wonderful
Aqueduct – Keep It Together
James Morrison – Under The Influence
Jonatha Brooke – Eye in the Sky
Lily Allen – Alfie
Live – I Alone
Paolo Conte – Via Con Me
Silversun Pickups – Lazy Eye
Sufjan Stevens – Chicago
Tapes ‘n Tapes – Insistor

Listen to the mix embedded below from 8tracks:

Listen to the mix on Rdio.

Somewhere around this time, my music tastes definitely shifted. It definitely coincided with the fact that I had begun to actively seek out live music on a regular basis.

Some thoughts on tracks that made the cut:

-I saw Clinic open for Jose Gonazlez and the couple in front of me just kept shooshing everyone around them.
-I know. Daughtry. I have quite a sentimental attachment to this song though, since it was on the radio the last time I drove up to my childhood home right after my parents sold it.
-The Forever Thursday song was in a JC Penney ad. It would be stuck in my head for weeks at a time.
-Some kid on American Idol covered the Jason Mraz song. I’m glad that I invested 6 seasons-worth of time into a show where I refer to someone I most likely actually called in and voted for as “some kid.”
-The track from Pearl Jam is a cover – it played over the credits of the horribly depressing movie Reign Over Me, featuring Don Cheadle and ever-so-serious Adam Sandler.
-You may know the Amy Winehouse version of Valerie. This one is better.

Track Listing:
Band of Horses – The Funeral
Clinic – Walking With Thee
Daughtry – Home
Forever Thursday – How Can It Be
Jamie Lidell – A Little Bit More
Jason Mraz – Geek In The Pink
Jenny Lewis with The Watson Twins – The Charging Sky
Giving It Up – Josh Rouse
Pearl Jam – Love, Reign O’er Me
Razorlight – In The Morning
Supertramp – Breakfast in America
The Zutons – Valerie

Listen to the mix embedded below from 8tracks:

Listen to the mix on Rdio.

How to Write a Screenplay or Tell a Better Story

I woke up sometime last week and decided I wanted to write a Storytelling/Screenwriting 101 presentation. For one, a bunch of my friends have been asking me to take them through something like this. But moreso, I wanted to make a deck that I’d want my younger self to read, before making all those awful short movies and scripts through college. So if you dig it, please spread it around – hopefully someone with a time machine will read it and let me send it back to little me.

These tips and guidelines are a collection of stuff I’ve found useful as I’ve learned about storytelling and screenwriting. Nothing here is set in stone and all these “rules” can be broken. I learned a lot of this stuff from the books I’ve read – do yourself a favor and read them! I’m also barely scratching the surface here.

As for me, I haven’t written an Oscar-winning screenplay, a summer blockbuster or The Great American Novel. I did write and produce the documentary Second Skin, which premiered at SXSW, won a bunch of awards, and was distributed internationally. I’ve also written a bunch of screenplays, one which was a Sundance Film Lab Finalist. Besides ?lm, I’ve worked on establishing stories and voices for Skittles, Star Wars and other brands. I’ve also published a bunch of articles and poetry. And of course, I’ve got that un?nished novel in the desk drawer.

Being the cynical, anti-social painter was never so cool.
P.S. Quinn and the fashion club like totally sucked.

Memorable Quote: “People call me a feminist whenever I express sentiment that differentiates me from a doormat or a prostitute.”

2. Donna Martin (90210)

One of the fashionable “it” girls in the 90210 zip code. She proved you can be popular and still have your V-Card.

MQ: “I was brought up believing I’d wait ’til I got married.  I just can’t wipe that all out because of how my body feels.”

3.  Kimberly, Pink Power Ranger (Power Rangers)

One badass chick. No explanation needed.

MQ: “Pink Ranger Power!”

4. Uncle Jesse (Full House)

The Elvis loving, hunky uncle with the best hair. Everyone wanted to be “Jessie’s Girl”.

MQ: “Have Mercy!”

5. Zack Morris (Saved by the Bell)

The dreamiest, most awesome, prankster at Bayside High and The Max. Not many Lisa Frank notebooks were left unbranded by his name.

MQ: “I like school.  It’s just too bad classes get in the way.”

6. Daniel Desario (Freaks and Geeks)

The underdog, stoner freak who no one could resist. He may have been a mess, but a HOT mess.

MQ: “Wow.  That designated driver is pretty hot.  I’d like to get her drunk.”

7. Kelly Bundy (Married…With Children)

The trashy blonde slut. However, she would have kicked your ass, then stolen your boyfriend.

MQ: Too dumb to quote.

8. Buffy (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)

Not your average sexy cheerleader. What other high schooler had the [lady] balls to kill vampires and date one?

MQ: “I’m putting my life on the line, battling the undead.  Look, I broke a nail, ok?  I’m wearing a press-on.  The least you could do is exhibit some casual interest.”

9.  Angela Chase (My So-Called Life)

The “real” voice of teenagers in the grunge era. Life lessons such as what time to sneak out at night.

MQ: “There’s something about Sunday night that really makes you want to kill yourself.  Especially if you’ve just been totally made a fool of by the only person you’ll ever love, and you have a geometry midterm on Monday.”

10. Dawson Leery (Dawson’s Creek)

The quintessial boy next door. His window was always open for popcorn and foreign films.

MQ: “You and I are meant to be together, Joey.  Period.  The end.  Cue happy ending music.”

Don’t forget kids keep partying like it’s 1999!

So, which Presidents are the most entertaining, in terms of appearing on film?

The closest we’re able to come to a definitive list is probably the listings on IMDb, but they have to be tempered with the fact that they include both fictitious representations and documentary-realism. Nevertheless, we still have some measure of the Presidents’ popularity (and they might not be who you’d think). The top five Presidents on film, according to IMDb, are:

1. Abraham Lincoln (President from 1861 to 1865)

With 300 appearances (starting with the 1911 short “His First Commission”), Lincoln is far and away the most depicted President on film. Those 300 also include several not-yet-released appearances, including a 2013 miniseries called To Appomattox, a biopic directed by Steven Spielberg and starring Daniel Day-Lewis called Lincoln, to be released later this year, and the forthcoming film version of Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter.

Those 300 appearances average out to 75 appearances per year served in office (second only to William Henry Harrison, whose seven appearances and one month in office works out to 84 appearances per year).

2. George Washington (1789-1797)

With 145 appearances (his first was a short entitled “Washington Under the British Flag” in 1909), the first president is the second most depicted in film. His most recent “appearances” were a Futurama episode entitled “All the Presidents’ Heads” (which featured almost half the Presidents) and the direct-to-video movie The Road to Independence: the Movie, both of which were released in 2011.

Those 145 appearances average out to 18.125 per year (the “problem” with serving eight years as President), ranking Washington fourth on that list (behind John F. Kennedy’s 79 appearances and less than three years in office, for 27.88 per year).

3. Thomas Jefferson (1801-1809)

Perhaps a surprise, the third President is the third most often depicted in film, with 105 appearances (starting with the 1911 short “The Declaration of Independence”). Jefferson, too, was in the Futurama episode and The Road to Independence.

Jefferson averages 13.125 appearances per year in office, making him number 7 on the list, behind James Garfield (six months in office, seven appearances: average of 14 per year) and John Adams (four years in office, 53 appearances: average of 13.25 per year).

4. Franklin Delano Roosevelt (1933-1945)

The President who served the longest term (more than 12 years), ranks fourth, with 87 film appearances (starting while he was in office, with the 1937 Three Stooges short “Cash and Carry”). Later this year, he’ll be portrayed by Bill Murray in Hyde Park on Hudson.

FDR was the only President to be elected a third (and fourth) time. He was President for 12 years and three months, so he averages a scant 7.25 appearances per year in office. Ranking higher than FDR are Richard Nixon (65 appearances, five and a half years: 11.64 average), Ulysses Grant (see below), George W. Bush (possibly, see below), Theodore Roosevelt (73 appearances, seven and a half years: 9.73 average), and Bill Clinton (69 appearances, eight years: 8.625 average).

5. George W. Bush vs. George H.W. Bush

There’s some question as to who ranks #5. IMDb shows George W. Bush (President from 2001 to 2009) appearing 105 times, but some of those are actually depictions of his father, George H.W. Bush (President from 1989 to 1993). The senior Bush, queried separately, has 21 appearances listed (his first was in an episode of The Golden Girls in 1990, voiced by Harry Shearer). The second President Bush was probably first depicted in the short-lived comedy tv series That’s My Bush (2001).

6. Ulysses S. Grant (1869-1877)

With 84 appearances (starting with the 1913 drama “The Battle of Shiloh”). Grant is scheduled to appear in the miniseries To Appomattox (2013) and the biopic Lincoln (2012). He also recent appeared in Jonah Hex (2010) and Wild Wild West (1999). His 84 appearances, divided by eight years in office, gives him 10.5 appearances per year.

At the other extreme, those Presidents appearing least often include:

1. Franklin Pierce (1853-1857)

Two appearances: the 1944 comedy/drama The Great Moment, and the 2000 history series The American President (which covered almost every President).

2. Benjamin Harrison (1889-1893)

Two appearances: the 1952 musical Stars and Stripes Forever, and The American President.

3. Martin Van Buren (1837-1841)

Three appearances: The Gorgeous Hussy (1936), Amistad (1997), and The American President.

4. Millard Fillmore (1850-1853)

Three appearances: “The Monroe Doctrine” (1939 short), Lost River: Lincoln’s Secret Weapon, and The American President.

5. James Buchanan (1857-1861)

Three appearances: Edward the King (1975), Deterrence (1999), and The American President.

6. Chester Arthur (1881-1885)

Three appearances: Silver Dollar (1932), Cattle King (1963), and The American President.

Ian Randal Strock is the author of The Presidential Book of Lists: From Most to Least, Elected to Rejected, Worst to Cursed—Fascinating Facts About Our Chief Executives (published by Random House in 2008), the blogger at uspresidents.livejournal.com, and running a Kickstarter project for his next book, Ranking the Powers Behind the Oval Office.

Happy Valentine’s Day everyone. Here are my top 10 (okay 14, it is Valentine-themed after all) songs for being all by yourself on this February 14th. Enjoy. (Stream it at the bottom)

1. Akon – Lonely
Samples Bobby Vinton’s Mr. Lonely, which is a really odd-yet-somehow-works hook for Akon.

Yo this one here goes out to all my players out there ya know got that one good girl who’s always been there like ya
Know took all the bullshit then one day she can’t take it no more and decides to leave

2. The Police – So Lonely
I always feel like Sting is yelling at me in this song.

Just take a seat they’re always free
No surprise no mystery
In this theatre that I call my soul
I always play the starring role

3. Eric Carmen – All By Myself
Quite possibly the greatest lonely song ever written.

When I was young
I never needed anyone
And making love was just for fun
Those days are gone

4. Roy Orbison – Only The Lonely
I tried to type the lyrics without the background vocals, but it just felt wrong.

Only the lonely
(Dum dum dum, dummy doo wah)
Know the way I feel tonight
(Ooh yay, yay, yay, yeah)
Only the lonely
(Dum dum dum, dummy doo wah)
Know this feeling ain’t right
(Dum dum dum, dummy doo wah)

5. Beyonce – Me, Myself And I
Yeah, I know she has a song called Scared of Lonely. But I only know it from Google so it doesn’t count.

Me myself and I
That’s all I got in the end
That’s what I found out
And it ain’t no need to cry
I took a vow that from now on
I’m gonna be my own best friend

6. The Rascals – I’ve Been Lonely Too Long
The opening bars to this song always make me think it is the song Free to Be You and Me.

As I look back,
I can see me lost and searching.
Now I find that I can choose, I’m free.

7. Three Dog Night – One
And the opening to this is just like Queen’s Killer Queen. Have we run out of opening chords??

No is the saddest experience you’ll ever know
Yes, it’s the saddest experience you’ll ever know
Cause one is the loneliest number that you’ll ever do
One is the loneliest number, worse than two

8. Al Green – Tired of Being Along
Preach it, Al.

I’m so tired of being alone,
I’m so tired of on-my-own,
Won’t you help me, girl, just as soon as you can.
People say that I’ve found a way,
To make you say, that you love me.
But baby, you didn’t go for that,
Me, it’s a natural fact, that I wanna come back,
Show me where it’s at, baby.

9. Betty Davis – Anti Love Song
I put this on here at first because of the title, but then I realized it’s about becoming attached to your friends-with-benefits partner, which I guess fits this theme just as much.

Cause I know you could make me suffer
I know you could drive me mad
I know you just take me in a circle
When it got real
I know you’d disappear
That’s why I ain’t gonna love you

10. Hank Williams – I’m So Lonesome I Could Cry
I’m sure there are a million country songs espousing loneliness, but heck, why not go with a classic?

The silence of a falling star
Lights up a purple sky
And as I wonder where you are
I’m so lonesome I could cry

11. Justin Bieber – One Less Lonely Girl
He also name checks Valentine’s Day. And I will admit this only this one time – the kid has some charisma.

How many I told you’s and start overs
And shoulders have you cried on before
How many promises be honest girl
How many tears you let hit the floor

12. Peggy Lee – Is That All There Is
Most. Depressing. Song. Ever.

I know what you must be saying to yourselves.
If that’s the way she feels about it why doesn’t she just end it all?
Oh, no. Not me. I’m in no hurry for that final disappointment.
For I know just as well as I’m standing here talking to you,
when that final moment comes and I’m breathing my lst breath, I’ll be saying to myself,
Is that all there is, is that all there is
If that’s all there is my friends, then let’s keep dancing
Let’s break out the booze and have a ball
If that’s all there is

13. The White Stripes – I’m Lonely (But I Ain’t That Lonely Yet)
I giggle when I hear this song.

I roll over in bed
Looking for someone to touch
There’s a girl that I know of
But don’t ask for much
She’s homely, and she’s cranky
And her hair’s in a net
And I’m lonely, but I ain’t that lonely yet

14. Rilo Kiley – The Absence of God
And for the sliver of hope, my favorite song on this mix. One of the few ever in existence to use my name in it.

And Morgan says, “Maybe love won’t let you down.
All of your failures are training grounds
And just as your back’s turned, you’ll be surprised,” she says,
As your solitude subsides.”

Listen to this mix via embedded 8tracks player above, or stream it on Rdio here.

I love board games.

I mean, really, who doesn’t?  (I’m assuming you do, or you wouldn’t have gotten this far in this post – even though it’s just the first paragraph.)  In fact, I love them so much that I have a blog dedicated simply to board games (it’s called Board Game Reviews by Josh; you know, because my name is Josh.)

So, when I was asked to name the Top Ten board games, I was quite flattered, excited, and honestly overwhelmed. There are only… well, 50,000 to choose from (that’s not an exaggeration). And I’ve only played 100′s of them personally. So, keep in mind two things:

1) I love lots of games that I had to cut from this list and
2) you can comment and tell me which ones I missed, because there are probably over 49,500 that I still need to try.

Finally, if you’re curious about what you see, I’ve added a link to a review of each of the games – check them out and I’m sure that you’ll find at least one that you will fall in love with! Without further ado, here we go:

10. Dominion

This game created and continues to define a genre. It’s called a “deck building game” because you spend the game building a deck of cards from common piles in front of you. It’s quick to play, but incredibly engaging! You will rarely stop playing after only one try.

9. PitchCar

Just because it’s a “board game” doesn’t mean it has to be strategic. PitchCar is all about dexterity – who can flick their car around the track the fastest. You can go for the power shot, but if you go flying off the board then it was a wasted turn! Simple enough that anyone can enjoy it, fun enough that everyone will want to join in. Fortunately, it can be played with up to 8 players (for a very crowded track).

8. Lord of the Rings: The (Living) Card Game

The oddball on the list, this game doesn’t actually use a board of any kind. Yet, with the continually released expansions, this game is a fresh experience almost every time you play it. What’s more – it’s the only cooperative game that made my list; so if you’re looking for a good game to play with your friends instead of against them, this is a good one to try.

7. Dvonn

Abstract and beautiful. Dvonn is hard to put into words, but is a masterfully crafted abstract strategy game, and more people should know it!

6. Summoner Wars

This might be the best two-player game ever created. With the different number of races that can be played, it is hard to master Summoner Wars. Yet, only taking about 30 minutes per game, you can still find yourself spending hours trying.

5. Battlestar Galactica

Probably the longest game on this list, a game of Battlestar Galactica can easily take over two hours. However, the intrigue of trying to figure out which of your friends is the cylon that is trying to betray you can make all of that time worth it! (Just make sure that you catch them before you start feeling that knife in your back.)

4. Heroscape

Ah, Heroscape. This is probably the biggest “mass market” game on this list, which allowed thousands (if not millions) of people to try this masterpiece. With a customizable board, dozens of armies, and a fairly simple ruleset, Heroscape is a wonderful mix of depth and excitement.

3. Ra

If you’re looking for a game about auctions, Ra is for you. This is currently at the top of my list of auction games, and depending on the day of the week could easily sneak into my #1 spot for games overall!

2. Risk 2210 AD

One of the first games that got me into this world of board gaming, Risk 2210 takes what you are comfortable with (the classic game of Risk) and adds several new elements to make for a brilliant new experience. The only war game to crack my list, I have played Risk 2210 dozens, if not hundreds, of times.

1. Puerto Rico

I debated this, but didn’t figure I could justifiably put any game other than Puerto Rico as my overall #1. If imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, then Puerto Rico should be constantly blushing. I can think of three games off the top of my head (that are all fun to play!) that borrow heavily from the mechanics of Puerto Rico. Yet, with all the imitators, there is still not a game that beautifully balances as many strategic decisions into as elegant of an experience as Puerto Rico.

Word lovers can be an odd bunch.

We get stuck on words – repeat our favorites out loud too often, sing them, roll them around in our mouths like marbles. We sneak big words into conversation when smaller words will do – just to test their reality out in the world. We give friends and family out-there nicknames because we like their staccato or assonance. Some of our favorite movies, books and poems can be boiled down to a few word choices that blew us away. (Song of Myself’s “barbaric yawp” or Fight Club’s “I am Jack’s…”) Word choice affects us in ways we might be embarrassed to admit – it dictates what websites we visit and don’t visit (sorry Microsoft, The Sopranos owns the word bing). It tells us what brands we choose to buy (Adidas > Asics) what bands we listen to (Arcade Fire, Velvet Underground) and might even decide more mundane things like the car we drive (Corolla is the all-time bestseller – love that word).

What makes a word beautiful? To borrow from Lee Thornton, words have three forms of existence: the sonic (its pronunciation), the aesthetic (its shape) and its meaning (both objectively and the way we feel its meaning). Our favorite words either shine in one category, or hit a home run on all three counts. Often onomatopoeia plays a role, giving our favorite words that little something extra when they exude their meaning in their pronunciation.

I won’t even pretend to make a list which is in any way objective. Instead, here are my top ten, starting at #10 (I didn’t want to mar the words with numbers). I hope this adds some words to your favorites list. If you have a minute, please return the favor and add your favorite words in the comments. Bonus points for explaining your love.

tranquil

Because its sound suggests the serene sea it describes. Spanish one-ups it with ‘tranquilo’ giving it more balance.

aphrodisiac

An ancient word from the Greeks dolled up to describe catalysts to the procreant urge of the world.

awesome

No word better represents our inability to nuance, describing most anything with a word meant to classify only the most daunting.

onanistic

A dirty Biblical word in academic clothing, it lets us label things as so many things need to be labeled these days: masturbatory.

delirium

The most beautiful word for madness, with a whiff of the euphoric. Aesthetically and sonically sublime.

fuck

A word impregnated by every meaning under the sun – entire sentences can be built out of it, entire books use it as a fulcrum. For centuries it’s the single word that guarantees reaction.

inexorable

Sound it out – it turns like the gear powering the steamroller it represents.

liminal

An impossibly onomatopoeic word, the very boundaries it describes represented by the “l” at either end of it, and the space it occupies sang by the way it’s breathed.

ethereal

Like its definition, a word that sounds too perfect for this world – too delicate, wispy and insubstantial. Catching it in prose, it feels like seeing a rare specimen in captivity. Saying it sounds like breathing out stardust.

nepenthe

The most beautiful word in our language – aesthetically (it dips under to rise again), sonically (the consonant hardness of the P carried through by the whisper of the suffix) and in meaning (a drug that banishes grief through forgetfulness). As old as Homer and only made more beautiful by the passing millennia.

10. Donald Byrd: Flight Time/Nas: NY State of Mind

9. Dennis Edwards: Don’t Look Any Further/Eric B. & Rakim: Paid In Full

8. Grand Funk Railroad: Nothing is the Same/The Roots: Rising Down

7. Billy Brooks: Forty Days/A Tribe Called Quest: Luck of Lucien

6. Wendy Rene: After Laughter (Comes Tears)/Wu-Tang Clan: Tearz

5. Cris Williamson: Shine On Straight Arrow/JayLib (J Dilla and MadLib): The Red

4. The Jackson Five: Maybe Tomorrow/Ghostface Killah: All That I Got Is You

3. Prague Orchestra: Maria Religiosa/Nas and Jay-Z: Black Republicans

2. Ann Peebles: Trouble, Heartbreak & Sadness/Gza featuring Method Man: Shadowboxin

1. Marvin Gaye: Make Me Wanna Holler/Papoose: Flashback

My brother Jesse and me, with a spray-painted snowman in front of our childhood home, circa 1987.

Excuse me while I get a little personal. Back in September I went to visit my parents for a full 12 days. For the first time in my entire adult life, I wasn’t compelled to immediately go do something else. Sure, I had lunch dates with friends, and fit in a little karaoke. But on a whole, I mostly spent my time hanging out with my parents. And not only did no one die from it, but in fact no one wanted to kill anyone else either. Spending time with my parents was not only pleasant, but (gasp!) actually enjoyable. Each day my mom taught me how to make something different out of the secret family recipe book. My dad and I went blueberry hunting and happened upon a black bear. We all watched procedural dramas and ate dinner on the couch with the dogs. My mom shared her snuggie. My dad shared the car. For the first time since they moved across the country, Seattle really felt like home.

This week I had surgery. Nothing too serious – the kind where they kick you home the same day with a stockpile of percocet. But also the kind where I’m on (absolutely bored out of my mind) bedrest for a week. And I miss having my mom here. (Sorry dad.) It got me thinking about home. The idea of home as something ephemeral. Transient, even. Musicians across all genres have tried to capture this in song to varying degrees of success, and I’ve spent the last three days in bed (as instructed) culling the possibilities down to a suitable mix.

Mom, Dad, I don’t say it enough, but… Thanks. This mix is for you.

And Without Further Ado, The Top Ten Songs for Being Home Away From Home (Okay, okay, there are 11 songs, not 10. Sue me.):

1. Christina Perri – Arms
I shazamed this song when I heard it on the radio while driving back from Massachusetts on September 11th. It planted the seeds for wanting to make this mix in the first place.

…I hope that you see right through my walls. I hope that you catch me ’cause I’m already falling. I’ll never let a love get so close. You put your arms around me and I’m home…

2. Billy Joel – You’re My Home
I knew this song existed, and I could almost hear it in my brain, but I kept thinking it was Jim Croce or Neil Diamond or someone else whose records my dad made me listen to as a child.

…Well I never had a place that I could call my very own, but that’s alright my love ’cause you’re my home…

3. Chantal Kreviazuk – It Feels Like Home To Me
I will never forget the first time I heard this song. Scott Fried was singing it. That remains the loveliest version of this Randy Newman song I have ever heard, but the CK version is a close second. (Not to overdue references to Neil Diamond, but he also covers this song, and it reminds me of Horatio Caine in CSI:Miami.)

…Feels like home to me, feels like I’m all the way back where I come from. Feels like home to me, feels like home to me, feels like I’m all the way back where I belong…

4. O.A.R. – I Feel Home
This band takes me back to college.

…I feel home, when I see the faces that remember my own. I feel home, when I’m chilling outside with the people I know. I feel home, and that’s just what I feel. Home to me is reality, and all I need something real…

5. The Magnetic Fields – You’re My Only Home
I love how many songs off of the 69 Love Songs triptych are actually really really sad.

…I will stay if you let me stay, and I’ll go if you let go; but I won’t go far away because you’re my only home…

6. Adele – Lovesong
Yes, a cover of The Cure, but I like this version better.

…Whenever I’m alone with you, you make me feel like I am home again. Whenever I’m alone with you, you make me feel like I am whole again…

7. Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros – Home
I almost missed including this one because it is just so obvious.

…Home, let me come home, home is wherever I’m with you. Home, yes I am home. Home is whenever I’m with you…

8. Talking Heads – This Must Be the Place (Naive Melody)
The first dance song at the wedding of my friends Koven and Madelyn.

…Home – is where I want to be, but I guess I’m already there. I come home, she lifted up her wings - guess that this must be the place…

9. 3 Doors Down – Your Arms Feel Like Home
From my g-chat with Alice while finalizing the song list for this mix: “I am currently listening to Talking Heads and wondering what kind of person finds it appropriate to put them on a mix with 3 Doors Down and if I will be judged in the afterlife for this decision.” For the record, I’m sure the answer is yes.

…I don’t care if I lost everything that I have known. It don’t matter where I lay my head tonight, your arms feel like home…

10. The Cinematic Orchestra – To Build A Home
Another sad one. But it has pretty piano!

…There is a house built out of stone, wooden floors, walls and window sills; tables and chairs worn by all of the dust. This is a place where I don’t feel alone; this is a place where I feel at home… Cause, I built a home for you, for me…

11. Chris Colfer (ft. Cory Monteith) - A House Is Not a Home
This song is so often covered, it was hard to pick a version. Helping to oversaturate is that it is an American Idol stand-by, highlighted in what seems like every season whether or not they have a Burt Bacharach week. I went with the Glee one, which gave me chills the first time I heard it.

…A chair is still a chair even when there’s no one sitting there. But a chair is not a house, and a house is not a home, when there’s no one there to hold you tight, and no one there you can kiss goodnight…

Several ways to listen to this. Some browsers strip the streaming code, but if yours isn’t one of them, hit play below. If you have no idea what I am talking about, you can listen to this mix on 8tracks here. Or listen to it on rdio here. If you think of any I missed, feel free to leave them in the comments. Enjoy! 

Ah, the nooner. When it comes down to it, there’s really little better in life than some sunny day, post-lunch pounding. Warm chocolate chip cookies and Point Break might come close, but even marathon sexcapades that happen after hours lack the spontaneous joie de vivre and raw gratuitous raunch of a midday rogering session.

And what takes those noontime occupations of Vagistan and raises them into the realm of holy coital Valhalla is some perfectly chosen music that keeps it fun, maybe a touch frolicsome, and definitely full of the right kind of drilltastic energy.

And this, friends, is what I hope to help you with.

These ten songs, listed with YouTube videos, and a Grooveshark mix HERE and at the end, should help stratospherize your diurnal jollies.

1. D’yer Maker – Led Zeppelin

This is the sexiest song that exists, objectively speaking. That boat-rocking, boots-knocking rhythm. Those choruses that each build to mini-climaxes. That sweltering, sweaty guitar riff. I’ve always wondered how many couples have fucked to this song live at Zeppelin concerts. (Oh the 70s…) Anyways, you need a strong starter song to set the mood immediately – and here it is.

2. Quattro (World Drifts In) – Calexico

It’s the rhythm with this one. They just nailed that rhythm. In fact, I’d go so far as to say that you could loop the first eight bars of this song for hours, and that’d be the perfect sex soundtrack. Still, the horn swells that start making cameos after the first verse are also pretty damn titillating. (And I use that word mammographically.) Romantics, there’s a bit of croonery in the verses that help the mood a bit. But mostly, I just can’t get enough of that sexotic interplay between the drums and the bass.

3. Come Back – Josh Rouse

The bass is fingers crawling up and down her back. To be honest, this wasn’t even a contender until I saw Josh Rouse live a few years ago, and realized the effect this had on the ladies in the audience. The bridge really seals the deal, with it’s ever more insistent repetitions of “Come Back, Come Back, Come Back”.

4. When the Levee Breaks – Led Zeppelin

I’ve got no qualms about putting two Zeppelin songs on here, as Zeppelin were indisputably The Sex. The most famous drum loop of all time builds and builds and builds with those catastrophic guitar riffs mounting like storm clouds. This song is reserved for those real mattress-breaking, fists-punching-into-the-walls sexpocalyptic sessions where the neighbors call the cops thinking they heard you murder your spouse. Consider yourself warned.

5. Whatever – Jill Scott

And after that mid-mix zenith of pipe laying fury – and the end of your session if your nooner was also a quickie – this is the cool down song. And what a song. Breezy, breezy soul. And with lyrics like this, it’s the perfect groove.

You pulled some tricks out your sleeve last night
Everything I fantasize about
You had me climbing up a wall
How many ways was God called
You represented in the fashion of the truly gifted
You put it down last night
Knocked me out then had me dreaming bout waking up, alright…

6. At the River – Groove Armada

The chill vibe continues – there’s something so sunny but so sensually languorous about this song. The mood just flows and flows…

7. No Ordinary Love – Sade

While D’yer Maker is as sexy as songs get, this is the best bumping uglies song out there, no question. If the foreplay has lasted too long (which is a nooner no-no – got to race back to the office in time, dudes!) this song should provide a much needed transition into good old fashioned log jamming.

8. Home – Zero 7

Zero 7’s entire first album, When It Falls, is the quintessential midday fuck soundtrack – you should nab that album before your next nooner. It’s perfect. Home is the standout track – you can feel the heat waves emanating from it. Silky smooth vocals, a sweetly droning sax, and some sparse guitar strings set the stage – and then gradually it builds and builds – not to an earth shattering crescendo (see When the Levee Breaks) but instead a really lovely wall of sound. And after it builds, it breaks down. Summer sexcapade perfection.

9. Anytime, Anyplace – Janet Jackson

First off, if you’re over twenty-five you remember pre-Nipplegate Janet Jackson – specifically the “Janet”-era Ms.Jackson, with the famous breastal Rolling Stone cover – and that Janet was enough to get anyone off. Even if you don’t make those sex-goddess associations with her, this song’s slinky riffs, Janet’s sultry croon, and those delicious pauses, make this one a slowburner. Let it ride…

10. Prototype – Outkast

Andre 3000’s Love Below was a mixed crop with one best-song-ever track – but Prototype is a bit of a hidden gem, as it’s a great afterglow track. You can close it out with this one.

Following are 10 core songs (plus a few key honorable mentions) that provided the soundtrack to when the hero was training for a fight, or was at the big game, or needed the courage to just step up and do what needed to be done. This is the soundtrack that is going to get me to my launch date. There are videos for reference, but you can stream the whole thing at the bottom as well.

Chariots of Fire – Vangelis – Theme from Chariots of Fire
I never actually knew what this movie was about, as I’d never seen it. But now I want to.

Rocky 3 – Survivor – Eye of the Tiger
I almost cut this out of fear it was too cliche, but then I remembered the theme of this mix.

Karate Kid – Joe Esposito – You’re The Best Around
Sweep the leg! (Come on, you know you were thinking it, too.)

St. Elmo’s Fire – John Parr – Man in Motion
I’ll be honest, I really love the other song (For Just A Moment – Love Theme) from this movie way more but it didn’t fit as well.

Short Circuit 2 – Bonnie Tyler – Holding Out for a Hero
Yeah, this is also from Footloose. Who knew Bonnie Tyler was such an inspirational lightening rod?

Flashdance – Irene Cara – What A Feeling
This won an Academy Award for Best Song, a Grammy Award for Best Female Pop Vocal Performance, a Golden Globe Award for Best Original Song, and an American Music Awards for Best R&B Female Artist and Best Pop Single of the Year. And yeah, it was also in The Full Monty.

Iron Eagle – King Kobra – Iron Eagle (Never Say Die)
Um, if you only watch one video in this entire list, do your self a favor and make it this one.

Teen Wolf – Mark Safan – Win In The End
100% this is the precursor to the amazingness of the final scenes in High School Musical (any of them.)

Mannequin – Starship – Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now
I honestly did not remember that this song was from this movie. But I knew it had to have been from some 80s movie. It was too inspirational not to be.

Top Gun – Kenny Loggins – Danger Zone
Duh.

Honorable Mentions:
These songs were either a) 80′s songs that were not actually in movies as the soundtrack to the training/go-get-’em scenes, or b) 100% fit the criteria, they were just a decade or two behind.

Europe – The Final Countdown
I realize that this is not a movie. It’s not even tv – it’s a bad video of someone’s tv. However, I couldn’t picture this mix without Gob Bluth.

Queen – I Want It All
This was not in any movie. But I do – I want it all. Or at the very least I want to launch this project on time.

Cast of Wet Hot American Summer – Higher and Higher
Okay when I told you earlier to watch the Iron Eagle video, I really meant watch the Wet Hot American Summer one. Chris Meloni has some serious moves.

Cast of High School Musical – We’re All In This Together
I mean, I mentioned it up above, so you had to be somewhat prepared for it. This is the one I send to my co-workers if we are still at our desks and it is after midnight. You’re welcome.

Congratulations! You’ve made it this far – Now you can stream the whole thing! Exclamation point!

Facebook may have begun as a way to keep tabs on other college students but it’s evolved over the years into one of the largest gaming platforms ever created. Millions of people log in every day to play popular games such as Farmville and Mafia Wars, while others play Texas Hold Em poker or puzzle games such as Bejeweled. With tens of thousands of Facebook games available — and nearly all of them free to play — there are plenty of options to choose from no matter what type of game you prefer.

1. Farmville

Love it or hate it, Farmville is one of the most popular and addictive Facebook games out there, letting players maintain and expand their farming operations with a variety of add-ons and help from their Facebook friends. You get all you need for your basic farm but many add-ons cost additional Facebook coints that can be purchased.

2. Mafia Wars

Made by Zynga (the same creators of Farmville), Mafia Wars works in a similar war as far as players relying on friends for help to advance through the game and build their own mafia family from the ground up.

3. Bejeweled Blitz

Bejeweled began as a very popular PC game but the Facebook version is wildly popular as well, letting players and their Facebook friends compete for the top score on the leaderboard as well as win other prizes and contests based on their cumulative weekly scores.

4. CityVille

Yet another game from Zynga that adds a twist to the builder game genre, this one is the largest game on Facebook, offering players the chance to put on their hard hats and build a virtual city from the ground up.

5. Zynga Poker

Zynga dominates the top Facebook game lists and that’s true of the poker game category as well, with millions of players getting their poker fix in each week by playing at Zynga Poker via Facebook.

6. Restaurant City

Another popular game by Zynga, Restaurant City is similar to Farmville but the difference is the method of playing the game. You have to manage your money, your employees, and the restaurant’s type of dishes.

7. Ninja Saga

A Flash RPG game that allows players to create and customize your very own ninja. This game is inspired by and similar to the Naruto anime/manga series. With the wonderful artwork, fun game play no wonder this game has millions of monthly active users.

8. Car Town

A game for car enthusiasts as it features real cars but in a cartoony way. Customize your
avatar and garage, earn money from races, and collect awesome cars. The progress is slow at first but once you get going, players will able to buy more exotic cars.

9. PetVille

This game is similar to it’s rival (Pet Society) but in this game your virtual pet behaves more like a person. Every pet can dance, do Kung Fu kicks, and even put on a rock show to entertain players.

10. FrontierVille

This game combines elements from other Zynga games to create an authentic game. The game is fun and players as lots to do such as farming, looking after your animals, building your own home and even raising your won family.

There are more than 20 million Tumblr blogs at last count. 20 million. Stumble in any direction online and you’ll find yourself drowning in an endless scroll of GIFs, photoshopped velociraptors and OFWGKTA. Tumblrs on everything from cheese people to hungover owls redefine the notion of impulse sharing and spreadable content. But how to sift through the Rowling-vs-Meyer-Rant Tumblrs and Nyan Cat Tumblrs?

Here are ten places you might want to start. I tried to balance the three types of Tumblrs I most often come across:

1. The Ridiculously Specific Tumblr, like Uncomfortable Moments with Putin – sometimes LOLworthy in its laser focus on the mundane, usually has Fuck Yeah in the title.

2. Inpsiration Feed, like Incredibilis – scroll through mind-bending photos and quotes and come out creatively charged/disgusted.

3. Simple Promise – high concept Tumblrs that pique curiosity and only sometimes fulfill the promise of the premise.

So, without further adieu: ten Tumblrs to reblog to your heart’s content, inflating your own Tumblr into deity-like status.

10. Poem Endings/Song Endings

A simple enough premise, Poem Endings and Song Endings serve up a daily last line/verse from poems & songs. It’s the variety I like – with Song Endings, you get Das Racist followed by Leonard Cohen, neighboring Ice Cube, with a dab of Joni Mitchell for good measure. Poem Endings has the same thing going, if you’re a poetry buff – good mix of the confessionals, beats, contemporary and old school poets.

9. Pretty Colors

Pantone heaven.

8. I Studied Abroad In Africa

The blog says it best:

You go to one of those fabulously elitist schools where everyone talks about privilege, classism, racism, sexism, etc. as if they don’t practice it in real life. But in order to really see the world, they decide to go somewhere where they can understand what their privilege looks like. So they choose AFRICA! Yay! A whole continent dedicated to helping white people understand what it means to be poor and undeveloped.

7. Animated Albums

Because scrolling through this Tumblr lets you edit your memories of those 3-hour Tower Records binges, so that all the shelves were chock full of GIFed out CDs.

6. I’m Remembering!

Nostalgia served daily for late Gen Xers and early Millenials. If you were born between ’75-’85, get set adrift on memory bliss. It’s the 80s treasures this blogger digs up that makes this Tumblr brilliant. Remember Popples?

5. The Only Magic Left Is Art

The Tumblr that’s an art museum – a single artist’s work, updated weekly. As wonderful as it sounds.

4. Kim Jong Il Looking At Things

Sure, there’ve been plenty of classic Dictator novels, but do any of them do a better job showing off the daily tedium of being a tyrant than this Tumblr? It’s also fucking hilarious.

3. Better Book Titles

My personal favorite.

This blog is for people who do not have thousands of hours to read book reviews or blurbs or first sentences. I will cut through all the cryptic crap, and give you the meat of the story in one condensed image. Now you can read the greatest literary works of all time in mere seconds!

 

2. Fuck Yeah Eyegasms

The purest distillation of what Tumblrs are all about – cataloguing images that will melt your face off.

1. This Isn’t Happiness

The gold standard of curated content, this is the Tumblr to end all Tumblrs.

Honorable Mention: Names I Call My Junk

Celebrities, authors, philosophers and other luminaries – all brought together by the author’s penchant for naming his member.

10. Recruiting

It is no secret that stability is not something that is very common in the online world. There are hundreds of thousands of guilds in existence at any given time and absolutely nothing that limits a player’s ability to move from one to another. Most guilds will cease to exist within a matter of months, which is the ultimate indicator of poor stability. Those groups that remain often have a high percentage of new faces every few months.

Recruiting, in my opinion, is the cornerstone to building stability. If you let the wrong people into your organization many bad things happen. First, their conflicting views, approaches or methods will create problems that need to be dealt with. When you are busy trying to build a successful organization, you can’t keep fighting fires all day long. Design and implement a recruiting practice that attracts compatible people in personality, goals and play style to increase your chances for success.

9. Rules

The other major factors that can affect stability and success of any guild, especially a fledgling one are your rules and policies. While this goes hand in hand with recruiting, the consideration of what rules and policies to put in place is not something to be taken lightly. When rules and policies exist that are not clearly in line with your guild vision or that do not directly support that vision, they create friction.

As you establish your guild, before you start recruiting members, attempt to articulate your vision for the guild, how you intend to reach that vision, and what rules you need to put in place to support that vision. Write all of that down and have someone you trust read through it. Ask them if they feel your vision is clear, if your plan to reach the vision sounds viable, and if the rules you created to support that plan do in fact support the vision. Make sure the person is someone you trust because if they don’t understand why you have a rule to wear fuzzy bunny slippers at all times, you need to be able to articulate why or change/remove the rule if wearing fuzzy bunny slippers does not truly support your plan for world domination.

8. Enforcement

If there is one truism for creating virtual communities it is that you will encounter issues. Those are often more frequent that you’d like when your guild is starting out. When there is an issue, jump in immediately and mediate a resolution. If you don’t know how to mediate a dispute, you probably shouldn’t be trying to lead an organization of people to begin with. There are lots of books on that topic so I am not going to try and teach you here. The point is to step in immediately and find a solution. Often, that solution is simply to clear up the miscommunication. You have no emotional baggage tied to the dispute so fairly evaluate both sides and diffuse it before things explode. That has the obvious benefit of preventing the immediate issue from getting out of hand. It also has a more hidden but much more important benefit. The rest of your guild is watching. They see how you act in those situations. Your successful handling of those problems will mean they are more likely to come to you for help before they overreact to something.

7. Culture

Building a community/guild/clan culture is inevitable. The shared experiences of your members will cause some form of culture to come into being. That culture can either be the glue that binds the team together or it can be the most outwardly obvious symptom as to why the guild is going to fall apart.

Culture is defined (by www.dictionary.com) as “the behaviors and beliefs characteristic of a particular social, ethnic, or age group.” Each of us participates in a number of different cultures .. at work.. at home.. with friends etc.. If you are a member of a guild you are also part of that culture.

The key to creating, growing and maintaining the right culture in your guild is rooted in many of our other top 10 items. Recruiting once again plays a critical role either in support of or directly against forming a positive culture. Mismatched personnel who are constantly getting on each other’s nerves or who have differing play styles can contribute to creating a non-supportive culture. So once again, right from the start of a guild, recruiting forms the basis for yet another building block of a successful, long-term guild. If you have to choose where to invest your time, it needs to be in good recruiting.

Another area in which the guild leadership can influence culture is through rules and policies. More specifically, how those policies are implemented and enforced can have a profound impact on whether there is a positive or negative culture in the guild. On a day to day basis, one of the most important things a guild leader can do is to fairly and consistently enforce guild rules. That doesn’t mean that everyone will necessarily agree with every decision made but if those decisions are shown to be consistent and fair with past precedence then those negative tendrils have a much harder time taking root in your guild culture.

6. Understanding

If someone told you that in order to be a successful community that you needed to be understanding it might not make intuitive sense at first but without understanding a guild cannot be successful. Understanding is a quality that directly supports and contributes to stability and it is something you cannot mandate into existence. It has to be nurtured and grown and sometimes fought for.

Let’s begin by defining what I mean when I say you need to have understanding to be a successful guild. Although voice communications are increasingly commonplace, the primary interaction people have with each other within the virtual world is text-based. Even within voice communication the non-verbal cues that would normally add context to a comment are not present. There are a variety of facts and figures floating around about how much of communication is non-verbal but regardless of which study is taken as fact, non-verbal communication (gestures, facial expressions, and body language) is an important and often central aspect to effective understanding.

Since the online world is predominantly text and voice based for our interactions, the likelihood there will be a misunderstanding is very high. When misunderstandings happen within virtual communities, they are tough to spot; even tougher to manage; and often lead to permanent, negative consequences.

The difference between a successful organization and one that implodes is understanding. Organizations that are successful have figured out a way to compensate for the text based and voice based communication issues so that misunderstandings are far less explosive and far less likely to result in instability.

5. Compatibility

Another major factor in determining a guild’s ability to be a long-term success is compatibility. While this criterion is interrelated to the other topics we have covered, especially recruiting, there is more to it than just saying, “We all get along!” There are several different layers to compatibility that we will explore with each layer being important to the long-term success of the guild. The four core layers of compatibility that you need to ensure exist within your guild are:
• Compatibility of your members
• Compatibility of your leadership team
• Compatibility of your rules with your goals
• Compatibility of your goals with your game

As you move forward with establishing or fostering your guild, take into account that compatibility is very important. Only recruit people who are compatible with your guild values and goals. Promote to leadership only people with that extra level of compatibility needed to work together even during the most difficult of circumstances. Create rules that are compatible with the goals and values of your guild. Set goals that are compatible with the gaming worlds you choose to occupy. If you forget to do even one of those things you will be introducing instability into your guild that will corrupt your culture and shake loose the walls of your fortress, causing it to tumble down around you.

4. Excellence

We play games to achieve great things, to be the hero, to be excellent. We expect excellence in the games we play and it is pretty obvious what happens to gaming titles that fail to meet the level of excellence we require. Players demand excellence in their games. When they do not get excellence in their games, they move on to another game.

Players demand excellence in their guilds in the exact same way they demand it of their games. Players are investing their valuable time in the guild and therefore they demand a fair return on their investment. It is a transaction like any other in life. While the currency is time and commitment the process is still a transaction. That transaction is the same as going to the store and buying a gallon of milk or paying your bill to play a month of your current MMORPG.

When a person joins your guild, they are paying you with their loyalty, commitment and, most of all, with their time. They invest those things in your vision, goals and processes and they demand excellence in return. If you offer an inferior or defective product, they will purchase a new product from someone else. Your guild is a commodity and not a very valuable one when it first starts out. You have no track record of success. You have little of value to offer anyone other than your promises for the future. You have, at the very least, thousands of direct competitors on your server all vying for the same pool of members and many of them have a more established track record than you do.

There are lots of ways to be excellent in the online gaming world and most of those ways are things players will demand of their guilds, whether they realize it or not. Failing to be excellent in those areas leads to those negative tendrils weaving their way into your guild culture, weakening the walls of your fortress.

3. Size

Bigger is better, right? That is what popular culture seems to teach us. However, within the online gaming world that is not a correct statement. The “best” size for a guild is the size that directly supports the goals of the guild in exactly the optimal way. So size is a tricky topic. If you focus on size as an end goal of your guild, then you will end in disaster. However, if you don’t have an appreciation for the size needed to achieve your goals that can lead to a failure to deliver ‘Excellence’ to your members and therefore also cause a guild failure.

Size, for the sake of size, has a major hidden drawback. That drawback is that if your members do not know each other well enough, then they will fail to develop the necessary understanding needed to avoid drama and blow-ups.

Not having enough size is a problem as well. If you do not have enough people to fully staff the events, raids and hunts that you plan to move your guild goals forward then you have two options. Either you can cancel the plans or you can bring in outsiders to fill the gap. Regularly canceling plans can send the message that the guild is unable to provide the excellence your members demand.

Player expectations are very mature these days. They have big expectations of the guilds they will lend their services to. When forming a guild, understanding what size you need to be and how fast you can reasonably achieve that size is a key factor in meeting player expectations. There are consequences to growing too fast, too slow, with the wrong mix of people or using the wrong criteria for measuring your recruits. There is no universal right answer for size except to say that the right size for your guild is the number of people you need to support your goals and your ability to deliver your services in an excellent manner. Your members are like Goldilocks. They don’t want the guild to be too big or grow too fast. They don’t want the guild to be too small or grow too slowly. They want it just right. And if you can’t provide that, someone else already can.

2. Stay Focused

One of the most challenging aspects of creating and running a guild is staying focused on executing your plan. Society today has a heavy dose of instant gratification mixed into it. When you couple that with the fact that in a Massively Multiplayer Game there is always someone who is ahead of you or nipping at your heels, then we tend to impose pressure on ourselves to move faster and take shortcuts.

It is a natural human reaction to look around and see characters in better armor and feel like you need to be doing something more or something different so you can have those things. It is natural to compare oneself to other people and then try to take a shortcut to get to where they are faster. We have all heard the adage about the grass being greener on the other guy’s lawn. The same applies in gaming, except with the added kicker of “well if he can do it, so can I.” While that is probably true, since games are increasingly designed to be accessible to more players, if you rush through your plan you will undermine your goals before you achieve them.

Stay focused. It is tempting to think we are the exception to the rule, that we are smarter than human nature, that our personality will be powerful enough to allow us to take shortcuts and still emerge victorious. Taking those shortcuts will result in failure. No matter how smart you are and how motivated you are when you start playing with the expectations of players, you are playing with things beyond your control and much like feeding a wild animal, you will get bitten.

1. Reboot!

If you have made it through all these steps and your guild still implodes despite your best efforts, the good news is that the online world allows for nearly infinite retries. You can try again in the same gaming world.. you can switch to a new world.. you can create a whole new persona if you want. You can use the same guild format or pick an entirely new one. The sandbox of online gaming allows you to try to build the perfect sand castle over and over again. But… if you have reached this point… you likely tried and failed at least once. Review the reasons you failed and be completely honest with yourself. You only waste your time if you mislead yourself by blaming anything other than the true root causes. Find those causes and figure out what you will do differently this time around to reach a different and better outcome.

Building a successful community is an art… not a science. The principles discussed above are what you need to focus on but correctly applying them, in the right amounts, at the right moments in time, to create the exact entity that you wish to create is not as simple as mixing the right amount of flour, eggs and sugar and baking it for the right amount of time. The recipe differs for everyone so use any failures you may come across as opportunities to evaluate your recipe and tweak it for the next try.

All of those topics, and more, are discussed in great detail in Beyond The Legend . If you are creating an online community, guild or clan then you should make the time to read the book and avoid the landmines so many others have stepped on before you.

If you know me in real life, most likely you also know that I am somewhat obsessed with all things Angry Birds. So I was super excited last week when the indie rock duo Pomplamoose released an awesome cover of the AB theme song. It got me thinking — I have not only wasted a bajillion hours playing all instances of the game, but also soaking up all of the awesome ephemera created around it. So here are my top ten Angry Birds-related things.

1. The Aforementioned Angry Birds Theme by Pomplamoose

2. Jon Hamm Explains Angry Birds
Previously this video held the top spot in my favorite things about AB. Mostly because it makes something so absurd sound even more ridiculous but with such spot on accuracy that you just knowingly nod your head in agreement. “Get ready to waste some time, my friend.” (This video is set to start in the middle, I am not actually wasting 8:43 of your time.)

3. The Physics of Angry Birds
Some dude over at Wired plotted the course of an Angry Bird against actual physics properties. The graphs are pretty amazing. Spoiler alert: The red bird would be 70cm tall.

4. Angry Birds Movie Trailer
Real Pigs. Real Stakes.

5. The Daily Show Takes On Watson Computer
When Watson kicked the asses of Ken Jennings and Brad Rutter, Jon Stewart took the opportunity to challenge the super computer. Best line? “I’ve been slinging birds into pig-filled buildings since before you were reading punch cards in a basement at MIT.”

6. Functioning Angry Birds Cake
One of the first AB memes to go around was a picture of a cake which someone posted to their twitter and went extremely viral. It was beautiful but not particularly instructional or for that matter, playable. Then this video came along, a blow-by-blow of the making of Ben’s birthday cake. “Construction: Icing, Chocolate Cake, Catapult, and Patience.”

7. Aaron Sorkin, Angry Birds Genius
Aaron Sorkin did a guest spot on 30 Rock. The whole one-minute scene is brilliant, and the Angry Birds wisdom he doles out is entirely true. I paused the tv the first time I saw this episode just to verify. You’re welcome.

8. Angry Birds Peace Treaty
This clip came from an Israeli show ???Eretz Nehederet, which is kind of a mash up of SNL and The Daily Show.

9. Crafting with Angry Birds
My crafty friend Willo sent me a link to Make and Takes’ Crafting With Angry Birds post. Of course my first thought was, this won’t work for yellow bird since he isn’t actually round. Maybe I need help… constructing my little yarn army.

10. Angry Birds for Blackberry
This one is actually a double meme. Prior to my iPhone, I owned a blackberry storm, and was immeasurably excited when I saw links going around Twitter that I, too, could get Angry Birds. Of course it turned out to be a cruel joke, as evidenced by the oh-so-true image below. But I will also encourage you to go over to Gizmodo, where I first saw this, and scroll through the comments for the second part of the meme. Brilliant.

And as a bonus for making it through the whole post, enjoy this picture of me, as a pig:

10. Package Stuffing

Sometimes you want your package to look bigger and more impressive than it actually is. Socks can help! Padding your junk with socks not only accentuates, it even helps keep your junk safe. So, next time you’re shipping a gift to your Nanna, stuff a few extra socks in there. Wait… what did you think we we’re talking about?

9. Dexterity training in case your fingers become fused together some day.

Listen, it happens. 1 out of every 3 people will be involved in a chemical accident that will fuse their fingers together into one big digit-less horror (you might check my numbers on that). If it happens to you, you can be prepared to (awkwardly) embrace your new lifestyle by practicing before hand (no pun intended). Slip a couple of socks over your hands and run through these practice drills: Picking up quarters off of flat surfaces, shaking hands and applying salve to your horrible burn scars.

8. Cheap Insulation

Building a house is no place to skimp, anyone who’s had a shelf fall on their head will agree. But you can be frugal without being foolish. And what do you have more of – socks or fiberglass insulation? So work with what you have, and next time you build a house – that’ll be soon, right? – stuff those walls with piles of socks! Flannel for colder climates, or light cotton if you’re farther south. You can figure it out – you’re already insulating a house with socks, so you’re obviously pretty clever.

7. Self-Defense

Imagine it: one late night you come stumbling home from the video arcade, and who should cross your path but some thug. He’s got a mean face and a threatening fist, but what do you have? Nothing but some leftover quarters and the socks on your feet. Think that spells trouble? You bet it does – for the other guy! Take off that sock, fill it with quarters, and get swinging. Good thing you didn’t waste all those quarters chowin’ down pellets, Ms. Pac Man!

6. Coffee Filters

Ask any poor college student and he will tell you, brewing coffee through paper towels is so passé. You need your paper towels for wiping up ramen spills! Instead, stave off a shopping trip by reaching for a lonely sock, its pair long lost to the laundromat, and fill that baby up with beans. Just make sure it’s a clean sock, unless you want some funky flavors in that cup o’ Joe.

5. Cat Dickey

Is the cat dickey a fashion item or a utility? Is it a stylish accessory to distinguish your fine feline from the naked-necked unadorned hoards? Or is it a practical item of kitty clothing, keeping that furry throat full of warmth and purrs? Why can’t it be both?

4. Sandworm Toy

Perfect for any young Kwisatz Haderach in your family. Stuff a sock with more socks, tie off one end, and throw it in the sandbox with your kid. They’ll instantly be transported to a fantasy world filled with Shai-Huluds (colloquially known as ‘sand worms’), addictive spices, and Kyle MacLachlan. Don’t forget, he who controls the spice controls the universe.

3. Ankle-Warmers

Springtime’s a season of fickle weather – you leave the house one sunny morning, nothing but strappy sandals between your toes and the warm air, but by the end of the day a cold wind is blowing clouds around the sky, and your bare ankles are freezing. If only you’d brought a pair of ankle-warmers with you! Just cut the toes off a pair of socks, and slip your new ankle-warmers up toward your shins. Your toes stay free and breezy while your delicate ankles are cozy and warm.

2. Environmentally Friendly Toilet Paper

These are tough times we’re living in. Time to put your pride aside and realize that you’re flushing away hard-earned cash with each trip to the bathroom. Instead of using toilet paper, bring a sock along on your next trip to the loo, rinse after each use, and watch the savings (and staff infections) roll in.

1. Sock Puppets

So, you’ve made it this far, and you’ve still got some spare orphan socks lying around. Why not make a sock puppet? And while you’re at it, why not head over to Socks, Inc. and use your sock puppet to join the adventures of Gary, Jenny, Mr. Barnsworth and all the other socks of Socksburg.

10. Immigrant advocacy may be the new oil painting. Artist Tania Bruguera has decided to spend one year living in Corona, Queens and is running an “advocacy group/art project.” I think the money quote from the NY Times article about her project is this: “‘She’s an artist? I didn’t know that,’ said J. P. Jimenez, a salesman at Metropolitan Lumber and Hardware on Roosevelt Avenue, opposite the storefront Ms. Bruguera opened last month. ‘I don’t see nobody going in with paintings.’”

9. Foul Mouthed Street Art:

8.

Yesterday I got an email from BarackObama.org. In a response to Jerome Corsi’s new book Where is the Birth Certificate? and to poke a little fun at the Birthers, Obama’s campaign team came up with the above graphic design for a mug. You can all insert your own variation of a “No Tea Allowed in this Mug” disclaimer joke in the comment section below.

7. For the Rembrandt inside of all office workers: Post it note art.

6. Paddle8.com is a new website where visitors can view works and collectors can make purchases. The wrinkle is that influential cultural figures act as curators for the exhibitions of works that go on display. In the same way as visits to galleries and museums, didactic material is provided that puts the works in context and provides insight about a particular artist’s practices. Glenn O’Brien is the curator for the next show.

5.

Devoted readers of my previous posts know that I am a big fan of public art. While I’m partial to NYC, Philadelphia has a ton of wonderful murals and a new interactive website has images of those murals and information about the stories they tell. My favorite is “The Heart of Baltimore Avenue”  (featured above), by David Guinn. For this mural, you can zoom in on a particular person and hear a brief description of who they are in their own words. Here’s a link to the site: http://explorer.muralarts.org/

4.

The folks over at Techcrunch.com have a story about a photographer who is claiming to have snapped the largest photo ever taken indoors. Although the writer of the article I link to below points out that it is actually 2,947 photos stitched together, the clarity of the detail is amazing. The photographer is Jeffrey Martin, founder of 360cities.net and the subject of the photo is in the Strahov Monastery, in Prague, Czech Republic. Video above, story here: 40 gigapixels of awesomeness

3. Dustin Grella is asking people to call him at the “Animation Hotline” and leave him a voicemail. He will then do a work of art based on your VM. The phone number is (212) – 683 – 2490. You can watch videos of his works, set to the recorded VM, on his website. The images plus the words make for a kind of visual poetry.

2.

Lech Szporer and Matthew Blair undertook a project to synchronize a series of actions, within a specific time frame, on two different sides of the world.  On the same day, while Szporer was in Rome and Blair was in New York, they both drank a cup of coffee and smoked a cigarette at the same time. What feels like the climax of the piece is when both men leap into two rivers. Szporer into the Tiber and Blair into the East. After that they each smashed a bottle and collected the shards of glass. Then they had another coffee. They showed this work at a gallery in Miami during Art Basel 2007. Included in the installation were recordings of rolling landscapes from trains Szporer rode in Tuscany and Blair rode in Brooklyn, the glass collected from the broken bottles, their Gmail conversation about the piece and the top recording above.

The second video features the same artists, doing another simultaneous project with Blair in Berlin and Szporer in New York. Blindfolded, they find their way through the streets of both cities, struggling at moments to find their way amongst the crowds, cars and bussle of each respective metropolis.

1.

Photo by Stephen Mallon

Stephen Mallon’s “Next Stop Atlantic” series showcases the disposal of old NYC subway cars in the Atlantic Ocean. Once they submerge and land on the ocean bottom, the subway cars became reefs for various creatures. According to a NY Times photo feature on them earlier this week, the practice is going to be discontinued because new subway cars have plastic parts that make the prep process too expensive. I wonder, do fish also gather around the doors and not push to the middle of the car? Because when people do that on the subway it really pisses me off.

10. Max

Have you ever wondered what America would look like if the South won the Civil War? Or if Al Gore had become U.S. President in 2000, rather than George W. Bush? That very sort of “what if” question hovers over the plot of  Max starring John Cusack as a Munich art dealer and Noah Taylor as Adolf Hitler. Hitler was actually a painter, and this movie highlights a fictional relationship between him and the art dealer played by Cusack.

9. Modigliani

Most people know that Andy Garcia played an Italian mafiaso in Godfather Three, but his talents for playing an Italian in a film did not end there. He does an admirable job playing the painter Amadeo Modigliani in this movie. I think the best parts are the ones that focus attention on Modigliani’s rivalry/friendship with Picasso.

8. Lust for Life

You can bet that when Van Gogh died, he had no idea he’d be as revered as he is today. Nor could he have guessed that the man who would play in a movie  about his life would be nominated for one of film’s highest honors. Kirk Douglas plays Vincent Van Gogh in Lust for Life. He certainly looked the part and he played the artist so well that his performance garnered him an Academy Award nomination for Best Actor in 1956. The above scene takes place when Paul Gauguin (played by Anthony Quinn) comes to live with Van Gogh in the South of France. The volatility of Van Gogh and the eventual demise of Gauguin’s stay in the South of France with Van Gogh is summed up well in this scene. I love the moment when Gauguin smells the pot in which Van Gogh has been cooking their meal.

7. Downtown 81

Downtown 81 is an urban fairytale starring Jean-Michel Basquiat playing a character much like himself. It’s a really interesting period piece about downtown NY in the 80s and well worth watching. But one note: if the sound seems off, it’s for good reason: the audio was damaged and the film had to be re-dubbed. Because Basquiat died, the filmmakers asked poet Saul Williams to do a voice over of the lead character’s lines.

6. Waking Life

I suppose this film could be classified in a lot of ways. Experimental, philsophical narrative. Spaced out, stream-of-consciousness film essay.  Mindscape movie making… Whatever you call Waking Life, I think it was pretty breakthrough when it came out in 2001. Even if you were to watch only one scene, you can gain something from it. I’ve embedded A.O. Scott’s astute analysis of the film for the NY Times.

5. American Splendor

I LOVE this movie. And though I’m not sure the late, great Harvey Pekar would call himself an artist, I’m going to anyway. Plus, Robert Crumb is an important character in the film, so there. When I watched it, I thought immediately of Henry Miller, given how much the American author may have liked Pekar’s stance that ordinary life is pretty complex stuff. Paul Giamatti does a terrific job playing the curmudgeonly Pekar and the interaction of animated illustrations and regular film making in the movie is great.

4. My Left Foot

In this movie, Daniel Day-Lewis plays Christy Brown, an Irish painter, poet and author who had cerebral palsy. I’m always impressed by Day-Lewis and the roles he takes on for his films. For me, he’s one of those actors that engages a character, learns the script and comes out on the other side of the camera as another person. This film is a prime example of that.

3. Girl with a Pearl Earring

Before he played a king with a speech impediment, Colin Firth was Dutch painter Johannes Vermeer in Girl with a Pearl Earring. There are only 34 known paintings by Vermeer in the world and one quite accurate part of this film is that Vermeer was a famously slow painter. He took a painstaking amount of time on each of his compositions, which is partially the reason why so few of his works exist. In real life, the man who was Vermeer’s patron was a pious man and not the vulgar womanizer depicted in the movie. And it’s likely that the model the title painting is based on was one of Vermeer’s daughters, rather than a maid who worked in his house. The actual painting called Girl with a Pearl Earring by Vermeer is at the Mauritshuis Gallery in the Hague. But in case you can’t make it to the Netherlands and happen to live in NY, a similar Vermeer is on view at the Metropolitan Museum of Art.

2. Pollock

Jackson Pollock’s drip paintings are famously symbolic of American Modern Art in the mid-20th Century. This film chronicles the prodigious drinking, the haphazard dripping, the notorious womanizing and the incredible work that made Pollock one of the titans of Abstract Expressionism. Ed Harris does an exceptional job playing Pollock (and man does he ever look like the painter) and Marcia Gay Harden, who plays Pollock’s wife, the painter Lee Krasner, won an Academy Award for Best Supporting Actress for her work in the film.

1. Basquiat

Soho was a very different place in the mid-80s than it is today. I happen to like Basquiat’s work a ton, which is part of the reason I’ve seen this movie about 25 times. But I’m a big fan of Jeffrey Wright too. Wright plays Basquiat, the graffiti writer turned art world darling. The star-studded cast includes Gary Oldman, Bencio Del Toro, Dennis Hopper, Parker Posey and David Bowie as Andy Warhol. The film was directed by the painter Julien Schnabel, who knew Basquiat when they were both NYC based painters in the 80s. Funny enough, the character that is meant to be Schnabel appears to be the most level headed character in the film…