They happened to me and they can happen to you. Never underestimate reality. It’s stranger than fiction. Cue Bad Religion, it’s time for the countdown to ten moments I don’t wish upon anyone.
10. When you see a guy with a ponytail and probably a cool mustache and you expect him to have an accent, but then he doesn’t. If you have a ponytail AND a mustache, you’re supposed to have some sort of remote mobile phone spy software accent. Bottom line. I didn’t make the rules. 9. When buy an essay you’re on a plane and the guy next to you falls asleep and starts farting and snoring. Also, he has bad breath and talks to you about stuff you definitely don’t care about. 8. When you go to Starbucks and the line is pretty free cell phone spy dialer long. Then you get your
coffee and it’s lukewarm. THEN, as you’re adding creamer, a large rat passes by the window and makes eye contact with you. Also, it’s tail is very long. 7. When you flip someone off in traffic and you both end up at the same red light. So you awkwardly act like you’re texting someone. 6. When you see a guy with black thick-rimmed glasses and you think he’s a Brooklyn hipster, but then he’s just from Canada. 5. When you hear a quote custom essay writing service from Charlie Sheen about earthworms and you chuckle. Then you go home and realize your boyfriend has an earthworm. 4. When you go on a date with a successful, seemingly normal guy and he proceeds to suck his teeth and call you “babe.” You make the mistake of going back to his place, kiss him and promptly make up an excuse to leave. He tells you “not to worry” because he’s a “big boy and can best cell phone spy tracker finish himself.” You throw up a little in your mouth. Also, he has a dusty, broken rear projection T.V sitting on the floor in help with dissertation writing his living room. 3. When you go to order food at a Mexican restaurant and the cook behind the counter starts furiously stirring a large pot of beans while staring you straight in the eye. Also, he is wearing a hairnet and he has very gold teeth. Then he takes money out of his pocket and starts counting it, still maintaining eye contact. It all happens in less than 30 seconds. And you’re never the same. 2. When you’re dating a guy in high school and he seems pretty cool and not creepy. But then he works at a hot dog stand and smells like chili dogs all the time. Also, he eats them so his breath is pretty bad. THEN, one night you hear rustling by your window and catch him peeping tomming you after a hot shower. 1. When you’ve just turned 21 and you’re out at spy vs spy game phone a night club. You make the mistake of pouring your own drinks. You down two full glasses of vodka, chase it with a Red Bull and pass out within 15 minutes.
#3 is the MOST HILARIOUS THING I HAVE EVER READ! It took me 24 years to find it!