Sometimes the muse comes to a musician’s door and asks them to write a song that’s downright inappropriate because it’s about all those little things nobody likes to say out loud. Below are ten songs that make you think “ew” or “that’s just wrong”.

10. Jessie’s Girl

Lusting for a best friend’s girl is pretty much the worst breach in Bro Code.

9. Every Breath You Take – Sting

The quintessential stalker song.

8. Afternoon Delight – Starland Vocal Band

The upbeat afternoon quickie song. Immortalized by Arrested Development when father and daughter karaoke sing this song to one another.

7. Turning Japanese – The Vapors

Too much masturbation leaves you squinting like a stereotypical Japanese person.

6. Stacy’s Mom – Fountains of Wayne

About being in love with your girlfriend’s mother and how incomparable she is to her progeny.

5. Strokin’ – Clarence Carter

A heartfelt song about having sex all day/all year, and inevitably making girls orgasm because your name is Clarence Carter.

4. My Ding a Ling – Chuck Berry

Momma teaches her son what a ding a ling is, and he goes on to have adventures with it for the rest of his life.

3. Oingo Boingo – Little Girls

Danny Elfman before he went ahead and became a world renowned musical composer made songs about pedophilia.

2. Father Figure – George Michael

About George Michael emulating your father and his role in your life, and making you fall in love with him because that’s what you always wanted… isn’t it?

1. Baby it’s cold outside – Dean Martin

The age old song about date rape tops the charts with tried and true methods of getting in the door such as “But baby it’s cold outside”.

Honorable Mentions:

Closer – Nine Inch Nails

Pretty aggressive song about having sex with a lady.

Camel Toe – Fanny Pack

Teenage girls runaround a play ground discussing the unhappy issue some women face.

What What in the Butt – Samwell

How enjoyable having sex with another man truly is.

I Touch Myself – Divinyls

A wonderful song about masturbation from the 80’s.